Reborn with pride
by SeraNeko-chan
Summary: Tsuna was bullied badly and neglected by Nana. What if he couldn't take it anymore one day. Plot twists, attempted suicide, self-harm. HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

A quick one-shot to get the idea out of my mind. I might continue if I get enough response, but An Oath of Truth has priority regardless.

I do not own the awesomeness that is Katekyo Hitman Reborn!

Warning: suicide, self-harm

* * *

How does a child survive when no one believes in them or is kind to them once in a while? How does a child get back up, when they are knocked down again and again and no one ever sticks out a helping hand. How does a child learn when all they have ever heard was insults about their intellect or rather lack thereof?

It doesn't. They might try for a couple years and some hold on longer than other, but eventually they are all pushed past their breaking point. It's really not a matter of if, but _when._

For Sawada Tsunayoshi that breaking point came in the form of a disappointed Nana and a grade card coloured in red. He was, at fourteen years of age, deemed an utter failure by the world around him. He was bullied to an insufferable degree and while everyone knew, no one ever stepped in. Even the demon of Namimori, the prefect who beat up people for the slightest misstep, stood by and watched. His homework was stolen and teachers ignored or picked on him during lessons. His lunches were stolen and his property destroyed on a daily basis.

In Tsuna's eyes everything had gone wrong when his father, forever absent, had brought an old man, introduced as grandfather, to the house when Tsuna was six. That old man, Nono, had done something to Tsuna and ever since Tsuna had become clumsy, weak and had difficulty concentrating on anything. He could and in the beginning often tried concentrating, but the effort usually left him utterly drained and with a splitting headache, so eventually he had given up doing so again. Before the incident he had been a bright and curious child, afterwards he had become dead last, Dame-Tsuna.

It had felt like some essential part had disappeared, like the colours around him suddenly were less bright and vivid and his heart hurt so much. He had tried to tell them, but they hadn't listened, saying that everything would be fine soon enough. Except it hadn't and too soon he had begun to forget what it had been like: to run without tripping, to play with other children, to be simply happy.

For his mama Tsuna had held on to life, because without him Nana would be completely alone. He refused to abandon her like his lying, scum of a father had done. That day however something had broken beyond repair. When he had showed his grade card, Nana had chided him and asked why he couldn't be more like his papa. Later he had overheard her wishing that her useless son might be taken away in return for her beloved husband.

The pain had been unimaginable; to hear that his own mother didn't want him, didn't love him unconditionally like she should have done and instead preferred a man who lied to her and had abandoned her. He simply couldn't bear it. For the past weeks he had been looking up suicide and self-harm, in secret of course. At first it had been out of curiosity and a wish to take away some of the pain, now it seemed his only option. He couldn't bear to live another day full of misery and with no hope of any improvement whatsoever. He couldn't go on knowing that no one in the whole world cared for him in the slightest.

Tsuna waited for midnight, when Nana would be asleep. He didn't bother to lock the bathroom door behind him as he stumbled in. Why should he? Let her find him, it might bring her some joy, being freed from her pathetic, burden of a son. Earlier that evening he had stolen a knife from the kitchen, which is when he heard Nana's horrible request. He had only planned to dull the pain in his heart by another sort of pain, but knew now that it wouldn't suffice.

The bath was turned on; hot water would make things easier and quicker. He didn't want to be found before it was too late. Tsuna kneeled at the bathtub, displaying the soft skin of his inner left wrist to the light of the moon. His hand, clutching the small, yet sharp knife didn't tremble for once in his life, so focused was he on bringing this final task to a good end. Metal hit skin and sunk in. The pain helped with focusing and Tsuna made another cut, close to the first. Blood was spraying from his wrist like a scarlet fountain and Tsuna began to feel lightheaded. He dropped the knife, conscious slipping away. Just before he fainted a last thought went through his mind. 'I regret not being able to show the world what I might have become.'

* * *

Nana had been sleeping very badly this past week. She had been dreaming every night of her Tsuna, as a little boy, who had been as bright and perfect as any mother could have wished for. It didn't stroke with the reality she knew and accepted, because she could only feel hatred when she looked at her only child. It puzzled her that she felt so negative, when she had always loved children. In her dreams she often gave Iemitsu a piece of her mind in regards to his longs absences, yet as soon as she woke up she adored him. It wasn't right, but she knew not what to do about it. The more she fought these conflicting feelings the stronger they became.

Thus it happened that she was still wide-awake when she recognized the stumbling of her pathetic (beloved) child in the hallway. As she once again tried to battle the emotions forced on her, she heard a faucet being turned on. Her training as nurse managed to overcome her foreign wish to leave it be, though it took more time than she liked to reach the bathroom.

Stepping through the open door, Nana felt her world crash down as she looked down on her beautiful child, who had tried to take his own life. For the first time in years her head felt clear again and her instincts took over. Instead of losing time looking for bandages, she ripped a chunk of her dress and dressed the wound while making sure to put pressure on it and binding it tightly. Reassured it would do for the few moments needed to reach the mobile phone, she put Tsuna on the ground, while keeping his arm above the heart.

Rushing back, Nana typed in the emergency number with trembling fingers. Her voice remained steady however as she swiftly gave the receptionist a summary of the events. The woman told her that the ambulance would arrive within five minutes, so "please keep calm", after which the call ended. Kneeling again by her unconscious son she gently stroked his face as she debated whom to call. The door was no problem; their neighbourhood was so safe, she kept in unlocked all the time. In the end she decided on Sasagawa Mei, a friend with two children of her own.

By the time both parties, the ambulance and Mei, had arrived, Nana had lost half of her nightgown in an effort to stop the bleeding. The medics quickly took over, putting a proper pressure bandage on the wound and smoothly strapping Tsuna on the portable bed. Nana insisted on riding with them to the hospital, while Mei would follow with an overnight bag. She had to be reminded to put on a coat and shoes, but was soon seated next to the bed in the ambulance. At the hospital she was relegated to the waiting room as Tsuna was rushed into the emergency operation room.

It was a long wait and Nana used that time to order her thoughts. Clearly her feelings had been influenced, as she would never have condoned the bullying her baby had gone through. She vaguely remembered Iemitsu presenting his boss/grandfather and the drastic change in Tsuna after that visit. It didn't explain a thing. She had no idea why anyone would want to cripple her son so severely or prevent her from doing something about it, but she grasped the fact that Iemitsu had something to do with it and it infuriated her. She had loved him, once upon a time, but with no actual presence to maintain that love it had quickly deteriorated after his first long absence, coincidentally not long after their marriage.

Putting her head into her hands, Nana prayed to every god she knew that she might be able to restore Tsuna's trust in her. She had hurt him so much, more than any other person could have and it pained her soul to accept it had happened. She had to however, if she ever wanted to start making amends.

Mei startled her out of her reflections and ushered her into the toilet with a bag of clothes. A quick wash and clothing change later, she felt not better, but like she could handle what would happen tonight. It was more than likely that Tsuna would wake up again, but the talk they would have to have subsequently would be very difficult for both. Nana waited side by side with her friend for the freeing message. They didn't have to wait for a very long time. A nurse came about half an hour after Tsuna had been brought in to guide her to the right room. For now only family was allowed, so Mei said goodbye and promised to look after the house.

Her little boy looked so delicate and young in that big white bed. Taking a seat at his right side Nana carefully took his unhurt arm in her hands. She softly sang Tsuna's old lullaby, mostly to sooth her own nerves. Her eyes remained focused on his face and they widened when Tsuna's eyes opened a little. They were unfocused, still somewhat drugged, and a beautiful clear orange instead of their usual brown. She shushed him, speaking softly and gently.

"It's all right, Tsu-kun. Mama is back and this time she will stay by your side. Go back to sleep, my little boy, I will watch over you."

The eyes slid shut again; sleep tightening its hold over the exhausted and broken boy. Before entering Nana had asked the nurse for a list of psychologists, which she had gladly handed over with some extra information added. In the end she decided on Dr Kurokawa, who specialised in abused victims and suicidal children and was part of her small circle of acquaintances. She was the unmarried aunt of Kurokawa Hana, a friend of Mei's Kyoko.

Setting the list aside, Nana took pen and paper in an effort to make some sense of past events. First she wrote all the guilty parties in Tsuna's case down. She didn't know all the bullies, but they would be the easiest to find out, then the teachers, the school nurses and even that prefect, who liked to patrol the streets to emulate his father, a police officer. In fact there were very few people in Namimori, she didn't write down. Many had had the chance to do something and yet none had taken it.

Contemplating for a few seconds she wrote down exactly what had happened since she met Iemitsu. It was surprisingly little and she felt stupid for marrying after such a whirlwind romance. They had met in the hospital where Nana worked, he had been brought in with severe wounds after a drunken bar brawl (or so he said). He had seduced her from his sick bed and six months later she had been married with a baby on the way. He had installed her into a brand new, expensively furnished house (while still claiming to work for a construction company) and had left a week later. His visits were sporadic at best and the postcards outlandish.

She blinked at how easily she had believed his (obvious) lies and how stupid it all seemed now she looked back on it. The shady job and large bank account could only mean one thing though, mafia or yakuza. Based on the man he brought to visit when Tsuna was six, she would put her money on mafia. _Nono_ hadn't looked Japanese at all and, now she thought about it, neither did Iemitsu despite his Japanese name.

So she was a mafia wife now, huh. It still didn't explain the … hypnosis? She hesitated to call it anything else; the change had been so abrupt. Besides Iemitsu was besotted of his Tuna fish. No he might have been behind Tsuna's stunted state, but he probably thought that he was doing the right thing without thinking of the consequences. That meant outsiders though and as soon as they realized that their plan (whatever it might entail) had failed, they would be back. She would have to contact someone immediately. Iemitsu would answer the phone right now; he never did when she called, so he was out of the picture. He had left an emergency number and surely this situation was considered a full-blown crisis!

It only took one ring for the person on the other end to respond.

"Ciaossu. With whom am I speaking?"

"Hello, I'm Sawada Nana, Iemitsu's wife. I was told to contact this number if I ever considered myself in need of urgent help. My son has just tried to commit suicide and I suspect that I have been the victim of a long-term hypnosis."

"I'll be there soon, let no one in and stay away from the windows. My identity will be verified with this special knock."

"I got it. Thank you, Mr?"

"Reborn."

* * *

Tsuna felt like he was floating with the Sun's rays softly touching his face. He felt warm and complete. For eight years he had known a piece was missing, but couldn't even begin to imagine how being whole would feel. Now he knew and he would never give this feeling up again.

A throbbing in his left arm brought him back to reality, though he didn't open his eyes just yet. He was alive then. Yes mama had found him, had _saved_ him. He remembered her words and the lullaby. Did that mean mama hadn't been herself? That it hadn't been Tsuna's fault? Despite the pain of mama's neglect, she was the only person he still cared for, the only one he hadn't wanted to give up on.

"Tsu-kun? Are you awake? Mama has breakfast."

He slowly opened his eyes, and was nearly overwhelmed at the richness of the colours around him. As it was he could only just suppress an astonished gasp. Imaging spending most of your sentient life in a grey, drab prison. Then, suddenly, you're freed and you step outside for the first time. He hadn't known colours had so many shades!

"Tsu-kun, are you all right?"

"Yes mama, just a bit dazed."

For the first time in six years his mama hugged him and overcome by emotions, he started weeping softly, silently. Nana reacted by hugging him even tighter, shedding tears of her own. The selfishness of others had caused them to lose so many years together, it was heart breaking.

A small cough brought them back to the normal world and to the third person in the room. A baby was sitting on the stool in the corner, dressed in a black suit, a fedora with an orange stripe and a yellow pacifier. Regardless of his utterly adorable appearance, he oozed confidence and dangerousness.

"Tsu-kun, this is Reborn-san. He has agreed to protect us from the people who wish us harm until a more permanent solution is found. Please disregard his exterior, it is in no way a reflection of his skills."

"Ciaossu Tsunayoshi. Might I recommend a look in the mirror?"

Raising an eyebrow Tsuna took the small hand mirror from the bedside table. Inside he was grumbling, yet curious. What could possibly have changed in his face? A great deal apparently, like you know, HIS EYECOLOUR! Why were his eyes suddenly a vibrant orange, when only yesterday they had been a normal brown?

"Mama?"

"Oh, Tsu-kun it seems like we're in for a big change."

* * *

Hope you liked it. For some reason I cannot portray Nana as a bad mother, hence the plot twist.


	2. Chapter 2

I did manage another chapter at last. Hope you enjoy it, but don't expect regular updates. I've got another story with priority and a hectic life at the moment.

* * *

 **Chapter 1: Learning anew**

"Mama, here are the eggs."

"Thank you Tsu-kun! You're such a great help to mama in the kitchen."

Tsuna blushed; he was still unused to receiving compliments and positive reinforcement. A week had passed since he had woken up in the hospital with a stinging arm and a mother who was once again a mother. He had been allowed to leave that same day, though he and Nana had daily appointments with Dr Kurokawa, a psychologist, for the foreseeable future.

Dr Kurokawa had encouraged them to bond again over a shared interest and Tsuna had confessed he wanted to learn how to cook. Nana had been very enthusiastic, for cooking had become her passion after Iemitsu had forced her to give up her job as a nurse. It had been with complete trust that Nana had bought Tsuna his own professional set of knives, which fit perfectly in his hand.

Tsuna had promptly begun to cry at his mother's faith in him, though she had certainly assessed him correctly. Now he was whole again, he wanted to live and show the world that he was more than Dame-Tsuna. He didn't feel like hurting himself anymore, because that fire inside him had burned all the negative emotions away. It showed in his daily life as he didn't trip anymore, walked more graceful than a dancer and could think without getting migraines.

Reborn had settled in the Sawada household and had swiftly become a fixture there. He said would stay until the people responsible for the hypnosis were no longer a concern. Considering Reborn had introduced himself as the World's Strongest Hitman, Tsuna had a pretty good idea of what was going to happen and honestly didn't care. They had attacked him and mama, so they deserved what was coming.

Reborn's childlike appearance didn't detract from the killing intent he could emit and he made a pretty good self-defence instructor. So far Tsuna had only been taught the basics, but he was making fast progress thanks to his newfound internal balance.

He hadn't been back to school yet, his mama and Dr Kurokawa thought it better to keep him home for a while and away from a hostile environment. Dr Kurokawa even asked her niece to tutor him in the missed subjects so he wouldn't fall behind too much. As it stood Tsuna wanted to go back on Monday, he felt ready to face the world again.

Hana Kurokawa had been rather annoyed with her aunt when she had asked to tutor one of her patients. Apparently the boy had tried to commit suicide, because he couldn't handle the bullying anymore. Though she shared no classes with Sawada Tsunayoshi, she knew him by reputation. The only reason she had agreed to help the pathetic monkey was her dear friend Sasagawa Kyoko.

Sawada's mother had called Kyoko's mom when she had found her son bleeding to death in the bathroom. Hence Kyoko had been informed that very night and with her Hana as well. Kyoko felt for the poor boy, who had had to deal with so much shit in his life. When Hana had told her about the tutoring, Kyoko had urged her to accept.

Therefore she stood on the Sawada's doorstep Monday afternoon, three days after the incident. She didn't expect much from someone who consequently ranked dead last, but for Kyoko she would do her very best. Sawada Nana, who opened the door, was a very pretty woman. She emitted warmth and kindness. Hana was ushered in to kitchen/dining room where Sawada was putting the last touches to a plate with snacks, self-made by the looks of it.

Sawada looked different; whenever Hana had glimpsed him, he always had a cowering pose. Now he stood tall (as much as he could with only 4'8") and confident. As he moved through the kitchen, Hana felt like watching an experienced dancer, a striking difference with his stumbling gait from last week. When he noticed her presence and turned to greet her, Hana felt her mouth falling open. 'Eyes didn't change colour! And certainly not to such a vivid and eye-catching orange!' She didn't get much time to recover from her shock as Sawada welcomed her.

"Good afternoon, Kurokawa-san. I'm glad that you have agreed to tutoring me."

His smile lit up the whole room. It was breath taking in its radiance and sweetness and Hana felt all her apprehension melt away. When he smiled Sawada Tsunayoshi looked like an angel. He wasn't very masculine looking with a lithe body and big, glistening eyes. His lips were too full for a boy, his bone structure too delicate. And yet he wasn't extremely girly either. Put him in a dress and he might pass off for a girl, but he didn't feel like one. He didn't try to act like either gender, which suited him more than ever.

With an internal headshake to get her thoughts back in order, Hana sat down at the table and opened the first syllabus, Maths. Both prepared themselves for a long and tedious afternoon.

* * *

Reborn had never sworn alliance to any family, so why exactly he had agreed to be the emergency contact for the (ignorant) family of the Head of CEDEF was still a mystery to him. Perhaps he had done it, because he didn't expect to get a phone call from them, ever. And he hadn't for fourteen years.

By chance he had just finished a mission in Japan when he had received a phone call on his emergency phone. A frightened woman's voice had replied to his usual greeting, the wife of Iemitsu. She had been startlingly level-headed despite the danger she knew she was in and had given a short but useful description of the circumstances.

He had been on the move before the call was finished thanks to the inbuilt tracker in the phone. Why he was so willing to help this civilian woman, he didn't know. Neither she nor her son was anything out of the ordinary and he had never been susceptible to a woman's plea before.

Still they had both grown on him in very little time. The investigation into the hypnosis was still slow going, but already he was cursing the stupidity of both Nono and Iemitsu. To seal the Flames of a child was detrimental to their development and often had complications like depression or self-harm.

Besides, what was the point of hiding your family in this small Japanese village, when you were bragging about them to everyone you met? Iemitsu even carried pictures of them and didn't make any effort to conceal the trail whenever he sent a new, idiotic postcard! He was starting to think Iemitsu might be stupid enough to call in a Mist to ensure Nana would stay faithful to him.

The first point on Reborn's list being underway, he went on to the next one: the bullies. While Reborn might be a tiny bit sadistic when it came to teaching his students, he hated bullies with a passion. He was hard on his pupils so that they might survive the harsh reality of the mafia, but bullies just did it to feel better about themselves.

The names of the responsible students were easy to find and a quick _word_ with them guaranteed that from that moment they knew better than bullying anyone ever again. The teachers were spoken to about their neglect or abuse. Should they fail to treat Sawada Tsunayoshi as a normal student, they would face charges and possibly (probably) lose their teaching license.

Next Reborn went to the office of the Disciplinary Committee, where he found Hibari Kyoya, also known as the Demon of Namimori. He wondered why a person who despised _disturbances_ had allowed such blatant harassment to continue. Why had Tsunayoshi been so victimized on top of the sealing?

He put these thoughts on a sidetrack for a while as he entered Hibari's office through the open window. The skylark didn't react very well to this intrusion of his private space and started to try and bite Reborn to death, but was stopped dead in his tracks at Reborn's question.

"Why didn't you interfere with the bullying of Sawada Tsunayoshi, bullying so cruel it led to his near suicide?"

Hibari frowned, racking his brains in an effort to remember the student this baby was speaking off. He got a faint mental image of a weak-looking herbivore, but it faded in and out of focus. A soft nudge of 'not important' made it disappear even more, but this WAS important. With pure will power he managed to destroy the foreign implant. (No mean feat, but Hibari prided himself on absolute control of body and mind.)

"It seems a herbivore was reckless enough to try and control me. Rest assured that it won't happen again. As payback Sawada Tsunayoshi will have my complete protection."

Reborn offered a nod and for a fraction of a second the two dangerous men stared each other down. Then the moment was over and they went their separate ways.

Back at the Sawada household Reborn considered his next moves. It was imperative that the suicide attempt was concealed from the Vongola. He had already taken steps to falsify the paperwork at the hospital and the story that had gone through the mafia grapevine was that Tsunayoshi had had a nasty fall, resulting in an open artery.

He needed time to find the mist responsible for the hypnosis; the list was a rather short one, as few were capable of stunts like these, but all suspects were as unlikely as the next. He would need to see every single one in person and go from there.

Then he would need to consider Tsunayoshi's part in the succession of the Ninth boss of the Vongola. Nono was getting old and since his own sons had died only two people were eligible: Tsunayoshi as descendant of the first boss and Xanxus, Nono's adopted son. Reborn doubted however that Xanxus would be accepted as boss; he was a bastard child at best and an asshole most of the time.

If Tsunayoshi were to challenge Xanxus however, he would need a decent mafia education; otherwise he would fail before he even began. Guardians would need to be considered, especially to help him get used to his Sky Flames after years without them. It would be best to start looking into suitable candidates from Tsunayoshi's sphere, because they already had some connection to him.

The girl who had started tutoring him would make a lovely storm; they had had a rocky start, but had grown closer in the past week as Tsunayoshi showed he was willing and able, but missed all the basics. The girl, Hana Reborn's mind supplied, had begun correcting the gaps immediately.

* * *

Is there any student in the world who doesn't dread/hate Monday mornings? Monday mornings mean the end of your free time, more lessons, more tests and for some more bullying. It was this last part that Tsuna dreaded when he reluctantly dressed at 7:30 before going down and starting breakfast.

Reborn was still asleep in his little hammock in Tsuna's room, but Nana arrived not five minutes after Tsuna and they cooked in amiable silence. Tsuna was very happy to have grown closer to his mama and having a real bond between them. Nana's rejection had been the most difficult part of his whole ordeal by far, even surpassing the losing part of himself.

He was somewhat fortified in the thought that Kyoko and Hana would meet him on the way to school and that Kyoko would be in his class, but years of bullying and harassment were hard to shake off. It helped though that he suspected Reborn of having threatened the bullies.

While he was on the topic of Reborn, the Hitman had been acting a bit strange. He had casually strolled into the kitchen when Hana was tutoring him to drink coffee, multiple times. He had also been present when Kyoko had come over together with taste his new recipe, strawberry shortcake. Reborn hated strawberries with a passion, yet he had eaten his slice without complaining!

Afterwards he had congratulated Tsuna on make such interesting friends and then proceeded to wipe his ass in his lessons on self-defence. They had helped a lot though, despite the utter humiliation of losing to a baby. Tsuna had learned not only lots of different escape strategies, but also how to get a heavier person on the ground in two seconds flat.

At this point if Tsuna were to face of against his bullies, two outcomes were possible: the first being that he froze up and forgot everything he learned and the second that he managed to hold them off for just long enough to give Hibari a chance to arrive. The skylark had visited on Sunday and after formally apologising had taken Tsuna under his wing. It meant only slightly less biting to death and dodging as Hibari wanted him able to hold his own in a fight for at least some time. He and Reborn made a formidable and terrifying team.

Reborn still hadn't fessed up the reason for all the fighting lessons, but Tsuna expected him to do so soon. Reborn was someone who would always tell the truth as long as he could do it in his own time. No doubt his absent father had kept some big secret from him and mama that would forever change his course in life. Ah well, it's not like Tsuna could do anything about it now.

* * *

Xanxus stretched his back as he stepped out of his ice prison. The despised cage lay on the ground in pieces. He looked at his faithful Guardians, who had stood by him even when he wasn't physically there.

"What has happened in my absence, Trash?"

Smiles all around at the familiar nickname, but wasn't Squalo who spoke up first. Mammon had gotten some disturbing news last night and had convinced Squalo, who had been the substitute boss that he needed to tell boss as soon as possible.

"We've got a crisis, boss. Apparently Baka-Iemitsu has outclassed himself by sealing his son's Sky Flames as a child. The child tried to commit suicide and unlocked them. This is all part of a larger conspiracy. Reborn accidently uncovered it and is trying to find the guilty party. I was approached, as it would have required a very powerful mist. The kid is also in the running for Decimo, but has as of yet no Guardians or even the appropriate knowledge. Reborn requested a temporary alliance with the Varia and a putting off the Ring Battles until everything is resolved."

"Hn. It's very unlike Reborn to ally himself in such an obvious way with any family. A conspiracy against the only other heir, why it sounds like something we could pull off.

* * *

Kyoko and Hana will probably replace Gokudera and Mukuro/Chrome, though Gokudera and Mukuro/Chrome will probably still factor in the story. I hope I did justice to Tsuna's issues, as I have no in depth knowledge of severe bullying and its consequences myself.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notice!**

I'm very sorry, but I've got no inspiration whatsoever about where to go with this fic. I've opened the document a thousand of times only to close it again as I can't find it in me to start writing. I suspect I'm having a mild depression, because I've no energy for anything. We'll see. I'm going to put it on permanent hiatus, but if you want to adopt it please do. Just sent me a PM if you'd like to do your own thing with it. My apologies if I've disappointed you, but I can't say nothing either and just let it drag on.


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